A scene that can't be painted by words

The other day during my first clinical (at an elementary school) I was lucky enough to have time to just chill. I was just supposed to meet up with the kid who I am doing a health history & assessment, so I go into the cafeteria to spend time with him during lunch. First off, I am so lucky in many aspects in my life right now. Despite having a history as a cynic I have been surprising myself lately, because it seems that everyday now I am either thinking about how thankful I am for all the good things in my life or verbalizing it. Anyways, getting back to the first thought I am pretty lucky because the kid who I was assigned is totally this super chill, and nice kid. During lunch I had like the most relaxing moment in a while. All the kids were super friendly, funny, and all around awesome. I had only briefly met them the week before, but they acted like I was an old friend. We played UNO, and joked around, and while I am not twelve years old, and have to represent the school in a professional manner it was probably one of those moments where I too almost acted like a twelve year old and to my classmates seemed like a overgrown child. What I really took from it was that I definitely want to work in a field where I can help children. I seem to understand them better, empathize on a greater level with their feelings, and also I feel more comfortable communicating with kids. A weird statement from the person who over the years has been very off and on about having children, and possibly could be quoted by numerous people stating "If I have kids, when they are teenagers I am shipping them to a boarding school in Switzerland". It gave me a really warm feeling to feel so sure about wanting to work with kids, just within the last couple weeks I was doubting my ability to ever be a good nurse, but when I walked out of clinical the other day I KNEW deep down that I want to be a great nurse and I can be, and then the best feeling of I have found where I belong in my career (in the sense of I know who I can help now, and where I can make an impact). It's odd because over the last couple weeks I have had moments occur like this in other aspects of my life. I know where I belong. I know where I can do good. I know who I belong with. Warmth, joy, and much thankfulness.

me and that

there are a couple things i love about myself.....my blank loves your blank...take it for what it is.....and christ sakes fucking take it now...

Little Miss Spunk

Last night I was spending some time with my lovely nephew who has discovered his left hand/fingers. He stares at his fist and then starts putting his pointer and thumb together. He laughs so much....I love it...it breaks my heart.
Then he started to kick his legs out at me...was funny he laughed....i think I'm in love with the lil guy....my moo cow is what I call him...he loves it..I love him...end of story really

Feelin good....think im getting over my crush which is good..yea things are good

mr. man

Today i gave my sweet little cupcake of a nephew his first bath (with the assistance of my mother of course...this is the first time Ive done something like that). Squigs did not necessarily dig the bathtime idea...until I held his hand in mine while I sponged him down with the other (lil ole man style haha). He stopped crying when he knew I was there (Id like to think that was the reason he stopped).

Anywho we have been spending the day together and I can't believe how much I love the lil guy. It's pretty funny too...we have this contraption that basically ties the baby to you and hes in it, and he loves it. Since hes only like 8 lbs I am going to say I like having him tied to me (hes warm:), although I may not like this when he is heavier.

Being an aunt is fun...I think I wanna keep this job forever:)

Whatnot

So, i've been reading H.p. Lovecraft short stories...way the fucked up...i have had nightmares everynight so far that I've read a story...but continue to read on in fascination:) The Outsider has been my favorite so far...

life is crazy hectic...im just keeping my head above water to keep from drowning

the baby is beautiful, perfect, and sweet (in case anyone is curious). His status is a consistent one...he eats, poops, and sleeps between/during the other two functions.

getting kind of frustrated with work...can't wait to start nursing...retail and/or managment is not where I would like to reside I have learned...it's my motivation to do well in school...which is altogether a lot of work while being my down time lately....

i can't wait to actually have a life soon as well (hopefully) I need to do something fun or i may implode:(

And while I like someone who has more interest in the cosmos I have realized that regardless of liking anyone at this point I wouldn't have time for another human being anyways...seeing as I sleep an average of five hours a night and have to negotiate those five hours sometimes in favor of homework....

But altogether its ok...im pretty sure...all my friends and fam make things way better...

As far as val. day goes hope everyone has the day they are looking for... and i prefer st.francis of assisi

ask me about thanksgiving...hehe

turn the big numba this year...i think we should go dancing

Auntie Me

I just wanted to say yay because I am going to be an auntie soon...so yay because it could happen anytime:)