Thursday, October 28, 2010

A scene that can't be painted by words

The other day during my first clinical (at an elementary school) I was lucky enough to have time to just chill. I was just supposed to meet up with the kid who I am doing a health history & assessment, so I go into the cafeteria to spend time with him during lunch. First off, I am so lucky in many aspects in my life right now. Despite having a history as a cynic I have been surprising myself lately, because it seems that everyday now I am either thinking about how thankful I am for all the good things in my life or verbalizing it. Anyways, getting back to the first thought I am pretty lucky because the kid who I was assigned is totally this super chill, and nice kid. During lunch I had like the most relaxing moment in a while. All the kids were super friendly, funny, and all around awesome. I had only briefly met them the week before, but they acted like I was an old friend. We played UNO, and joked around, and while I am not twelve years old, and have to represent the school in a professional manner it was probably one of those moments where I too almost acted like a twelve year old and to my classmates seemed like a overgrown child. What I really took from it was that I definitely want to work in a field where I can help children. I seem to understand them better, empathize on a greater level with their feelings, and also I feel more comfortable communicating with kids. A weird statement from the person who over the years has been very off and on about having children, and possibly could be quoted by numerous people stating "If I have kids, when they are teenagers I am shipping them to a boarding school in Switzerland". It gave me a really warm feeling to feel so sure about wanting to work with kids, just within the last couple weeks I was doubting my ability to ever be a good nurse, but when I walked out of clinical the other day I KNEW deep down that I want to be a great nurse and I can be, and then the best feeling of I have found where I belong in my career (in the sense of I know who I can help now, and where I can make an impact). It's odd because over the last couple weeks I have had moments occur like this in other aspects of my life. I know where I belong. I know where I can do good. I know who I belong with. Warmth, joy, and much thankfulness.