mr. man

Today i gave my sweet little cupcake of a nephew his first bath (with the assistance of my mother of course...this is the first time Ive done something like that). Squigs did not necessarily dig the bathtime idea...until I held his hand in mine while I sponged him down with the other (lil ole man style haha). He stopped crying when he knew I was there (Id like to think that was the reason he stopped).

Anywho we have been spending the day together and I can't believe how much I love the lil guy. It's pretty funny too...we have this contraption that basically ties the baby to you and hes in it, and he loves it. Since hes only like 8 lbs I am going to say I like having him tied to me (hes warm:), although I may not like this when he is heavier.

Being an aunt is fun...I think I wanna keep this job forever:)

Whatnot

So, i've been reading H.p. Lovecraft short stories...way the fucked up...i have had nightmares everynight so far that I've read a story...but continue to read on in fascination:) The Outsider has been my favorite so far...

life is crazy hectic...im just keeping my head above water to keep from drowning

the baby is beautiful, perfect, and sweet (in case anyone is curious). His status is a consistent one...he eats, poops, and sleeps between/during the other two functions.

getting kind of frustrated with work...can't wait to start nursing...retail and/or managment is not where I would like to reside I have learned...it's my motivation to do well in school...which is altogether a lot of work while being my down time lately....

i can't wait to actually have a life soon as well (hopefully) I need to do something fun or i may implode:(

And while I like someone who has more interest in the cosmos I have realized that regardless of liking anyone at this point I wouldn't have time for another human being anyways...seeing as I sleep an average of five hours a night and have to negotiate those five hours sometimes in favor of homework....

But altogether its ok...im pretty sure...all my friends and fam make things way better...

As far as val. day goes hope everyone has the day they are looking for... and i prefer st.francis of assisi

ask me about thanksgiving...hehe

turn the big numba this year...i think we should go dancing

Auntie Me

I just wanted to say yay because I am going to be an auntie soon...so yay because it could happen anytime:)

Pond Muck

Since I am almost entirely egocentric...I will write about how I feel once again...

I am confused...I think it is such a bummer that you can't know what someone else is thinking/feeling...

So I asked for a little advice from someone today and then they told me that they and their sidekick (thing 1 and thing 2 I shall call them) said that I have no confidence with guys. I probably shouldn't snoop more but then I felt bad...and the answer got worse...

So thing 1 tells me that thing 2 knows the ex of the guy I like and sort of had a thing with her while she was with the guy I like...great...so then stupid me I ask if that girl was pretty...thing 1 said that thing 2 said I was a step above the ex....and that sufficed for a moment....

Until...I questioned what I was a step above...I don't want to be just a step above a troll...it's all so relative...:(

So to thing 1 and thing 2 being a step above pond muck is not my idea of happiness...next time you discuss me don't bother...

To those that feel I asked for it by prying....I agree...but cannot help that I am a dummy....

I missed kindergarten

Sometimes I don't want to share, and I consider something mine in totality.

So when someone recently asked me (in an abrupt way) that I give them something that is all mine I got very defensive. In fact I started getting angry, yelled, and ran away. I felt it was an intrusion of my rights.

I did calm down and even though I don't want to share... compromised.

I decided to share not ALL, but some of my something...and I still don't like it.

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I would like to give a shout out to whoever lowered gas prices....muchas gracias...and may you have many sons...haha

Nothing Great

You all know the feeling...the little butterflies....your feet turn in...you blush...and then say something profoundly stupid:)

All you want to say is .... I like you

Well....I like you certain someone...even though your a complete weirdo (in the best of ways)

I try not to think about it but when you like someone you regress...and forget how to turn off

Not to mention even though I like you....I am pretty sure you don't like me that way...and even if you did it wouldn't matter....

so...here's my childish declaration...I like you (nothing great but my butterflies can't take it in my tummy anymore)

On a off note...I love SNL...we need more cowbell

In twenty years....will dinosaurs exist

I had this strange epiphany today...I feel old
So before I get an eyeroll...I do realize I am not actually old...it's just because recently a number of important things have changed in my life, and they involve me packing on a whole lot of responsibility...Then I got anxiety over what if this is going to continue and I have plateaued and this is it...because I want so much more...mostly emotionally...so then there was anxiety...

until I realized that I am being ridiculous because I am young and I have so many chances ahead of me (I hope)...also that I shouldn't limit myself

I opened my eyes a little...because I realized that despite that sarcastic routine I put on that I really do want quality relationships (be it friends or romantic) and that maybe I should put in a little more effort...like calling people back and not blowing off people...

maybe that will be my new year's resolution...